Friday, 01 Apr 2005

April Fools' Day edition:

And Pod Said, Let There Be Light

Solar-powered iPod to debut next year

Could Apple's iconic pearly white iPod be turning a shade of green? Ever since the iPod hit the market in 2001, the mini music machine has met with staggering success. Last year, hypnotized by that damn U2 song, consumers gobbled up 4.5 million of the gadgets. But all is not well in Apple-ville: The company has received flack from greens about the non-replaceable battery in the iPod, which destines it and its constituent toxic heavy metals for a premature trip to the landfill. Some fans have clamored for a change, and Apple is starting to listen. "It's time for the consumer electronics industry to catch up" to other industries that are going green, said spokesperson Beth Feehan, "and Apple wants to lead the way." Feehan said that the company is developing a solar-powered ePod, which it hopes to unveil by October 2006, and hinted that a biodegradable version of its iPod mini may be in the works as well.

Toys on the Side

Umbra on sustainable pleasure

Sadly, being a strong, proud, outspoken environmentalist is not always a recipe for romantic success. Yet still there comes a time when a body yearns for satisfaction. Today, a conscientious libertine inquires whether 'tis better to seek that satisfaction from a battery-powered or electric device. The answer, says Umbra, depends on how often you get off -- the grid, that is -- today on the Grist Magazine website.

The Passion of the Crichton

Mel Gibson may direct State of Fear movie

Michael Crichton's techno-thriller novel State of Fear would seem an obvious gem for Hollywood, what with its exotic locales, action-packed plot, and attractive heroines. But Crichton has had difficulty getting a high-profile director to take the project on -- because, he says, liberal Hollywood blanches at the thought of producing a movie that attacks the theory of global warming. But the author may have found his hero in Mel Gibson, whose Passion of the Christ made him the go-to director for movies focusing on, um, topics of interest to far-right conservatives. Gibson and Crichton are reportedly in talks, and should Gibson sign on to the project, filming could begin late this year. Though Gibson declined to comment, Crichton was only too happy to. "It's time for someone to expose the myths perpetrated by scientists and activists who claim we're on a collision course with doom, and no one's better at exposing myths than Mel Gibson," he said.

Barack O'Bombshell

Barack Obama plans to resign, renew flagging green movement

Illinois senator and progressive hero Barack Obama (D) provoked a furor yesterday with the announcement that he will resign from the Senate at the end of the year. Instead of fulfilling his term, he plans to head up an environmental coalition called Bright Green Future, with a charter to forge working alliances with labor groups, national security experts, hunting and fishing groups, religious congregations, and, said Obama, "anybody else who shares our vision of a prosperous, sustainable future for America." The coalition has been enthusiastically endorsed in press releases by the Sierra Club, Natural Resources Defense Council, and some 15 other big national green groups. "There's a limit to what we can accomplish in Congress until environmentalism becomes a genuine political force," said Obama. "I'm going to redirect my energy to work toward reviving the momentum behind green issues." The announcement prompted a firestorm of outrage and disappointment in Illinois, where Obama was elected by a wide margin last year. But enviros were ecstatic to find an ally with a proven record of, well, being noticed.

Good for the Goose, Good for the Propagander

"Death" authors tied to government money

Was "Death" a contract hit all along? The news in past months has been rife with stories of creative government efforts to sway the opinions of the citizenry. From prepackaged local "news" segments to pundits like Armstrong Williams being paid to shill for government policies, critics say the line between government propaganda and, well, everything else is fading. Now the issue is hitting home in the environmental movement. It seems that Michael Shellenberger and Ted Nordhaus, authors of the notorious "Death of Environmentalism" paper, have been at the government teat -- namely, being paid by the U.S. EPA. Details of the arrangement are hazy, and still hotly denied by the authors. But an anonymous source inside the agency claims to have documents revealing a contract wherein the authors were commissioned to "think outside the box about the efficacy of environmental regulations, and the environmental movement as a whole" in exchange for payments upward of $75,000. Said Carl Pope, head of the Sierra Club, "If this turns out to be true, I'm going to personally kick their asses."

April Tools

Grist amuses self, six years running

Admit it -- we had you going.