We knew that traveling to attend our wedding would be costly for our guests.  Since we each had established, furnished "homes,"  we did not need more stuff.  We told our guests: "Your presence is your present," and asked for no gifts.  For those who insisted, we opened a bank account for donations toward bicycles (something we wanted, and did not have) then sent a picture of us with the bikes in the thank you notes.

We also had our wedding in the San Juan Islands (Puget Sound, Washington State) and encouraged folks to come early and stay late (with info on activities, low-cost logding, etc), making the trip also thier vacation trip for the summer.

I'm excited to see this column, as I just got married in December in West Virginia and thought carefully about every decision I made, weighing my sustainability goals with other priorities such as family involvement. I really loved the oppotunity to allow my values to be reflected in how I designed my wedding, and most people seemed to enjoy it! To begin, instead of having most of my guests fly to Alaska where we currently live, we held the wedding in my parents' town, a good central location for most of our Eastern seaboard guests, and a place we'd be anyway for the holidays.  We used my mom's church for the ceremony, a local historical hall owned by a non-profit organization for the reception, a local, independent caterer who used mostly locally-grown and seasonal food (except for the smoked salmon and frozen blueberries we brought from Alaska and the ten loaves of bread that my dad baked and, I confess, some California organic spinach), and local Appalachian/Celtic musicians.  I bought my dress on eBay (I don't know and don't care if it was previously-used--it was simple and beautiful and perfect for me), my maid of honor's dress at a local thrift store (same deal), my wedding band from greenkarat.com (I HIGHLY recommend them), dried flowers for my bouquet from a local farmer and roses from organicbouquet.com for corsages and boutineers. I did my own hair and makeup (minimal), and two friends contributed to a spectacular necklace--one made the glass bead and the other mounted and strung it.  I made Alaskan cranberry preserves for reception favors. I also made my invitations with hand-made paper I bought from a small craft store and with calligraphy done by an aunt.  I had another aunt and some cousins provide music at the ceremony.  We didn't register anywhere--our mothers made it clear to guests who asked that we didn't want to accumulate stuff and would rather have money (which I again confess that we used mostly to travel to Peru for our honeymoon--not terribly sustainable, but fun!). We used recycled paper cards from Syracuse Cultural Workers (awesome stuff) for thank you cards. These were largely decisions I could control.  There were others that I had to and could let go for the sake of family harmony, which is actually an important component of "sustainability," if you ask me.  So we had a huge "rehearsal dinner" the night before the ceremony at the most expensive place in town, and my husband wore a brand-new suit that he'll never wear again. But the whole point of a wedding is a succesful merging of two sets of family values. I share all of this not to brag (or complain), but to give ideas to others interested in these topics.  I was extremely happy with our wedding, as I feel I was as true to my values as I could be, and I could not have done it without my parents, husband and other family and friends.  In my ideal world, I'd live in a place with all of my family and friends within walking distance, and we'd grow all of our own food, much like my grandparents did at their farm in Pennsylvania.  Someday...

We had our wedding at a historic dancehall managed by a non-profit. Since we didn't choose a big hotel with its own kitchen, we were able to keep things a bit greener and contribute to a healthier local community. And the building was nicer than a hotel ballroom, so it wasn't a sacrifice. We just had to look for it.

We're planning a "green" wedding this fall...originally we were hoping to work with any local hotel who might be interested in learning how to cater an environmentally friendly meal. This is harder than you'd expect. We found one banquet manager who was very open-minded and willing to try to source from Wisconsin farms, but the hotel was too small for our guest list. Most other caterers were only willing to ask SYSCO for pricing on organic food (one quote: $12 per lb for chicken!).

Luckily we discovered that our terrific local food co-op caters events, and they suggested the local Audubon Society nature center as a venue. Turns out it's a gorgeous LEED Certified building with hotels within a couple miles. As far as gifts go, we created a "charity registry" at the "I Do Foundation" website. We set up a wedding website to educate our future guests about food choices, green buildings, carbon offsets, reclaimed gold, and all the stuff we're doing to lessen the ecological impact of our celebration. We've had a lot of positive comments so far, and hopefully the event itself will get people thinking about their own daily choices.

My husband and I had a VERY green wedding a few years ago on a Vermont hill.  One thing that troubled me was food waste, until a friend with pigs and chickens offered to take it all.  We only had to ask our guests to sort food scraps into pig- and chicken-appropriate bins.

Obviously, not everyone lives in a place where this can be done.  But if you do, you'll be left with almost no garbage!

i'd like to encourage wedding planners to at least price buying or renting dishes, glasses, silverware, etc., before using disposable stuff like plastic dishes and paper napkins.  it's true for any event really.  in the grand cost of a wedding, it's usually not that much more expensive, and it adds a lot of class.

We're getting married in two weeks in my hometown, so most people don't have to travel far, and there's some carpooling happening for those who do. I made all of the bridesmaid dresses (something they can wear again and again) and my own gown. Much cheaper than a traditional route. It's an outdoor wedding in the garden of a historic house, so no need for decor. We really lucked out with that. And the food for the reception is potlucked in by guests, with bins to sort trash for composting at the end of the day.
About as easy and simple as can be. I encourage everybody to try to simplify, even if they're not going the green route. That alone makes a world of difference!

When my husband-to-be commented that planning a wedding seemed almost like planning the invasion of Normandy, we decided to think small. Our people are scattered all over the country, but it occurred to us that nearly all of them are people of some sort of faith, so rather than invite them to the physical wedding, we sent out (recycled paper) announcements ahead of time asking everyone to hold us in prayer at the time of our wedding. Because we had added a "vow of simplicity" to our vows to one another, we also asked our friends and family to make a donation to PCC Farmland Fund (or the charity of their choice) in lieu of gifts, which was a beautiful act of community that brought people together in generous outwardly focused ways and that has blessed us tremendously. There were exactly seven people at the actual wedding: best man and his spouse, matron of honor and hers, the minister, and us. We picked up an organic fair trade chocolate cake and a bottle of organic champagne at the PCC on the way over, I asked my groom to pick out a dress from those I already owned, and it was lovely and largely stress-free (an added bonus). Only one person was a trifle put out at not being physically there. (PCC = Puget Consumers Co-op)

The earlier comments to this threat offer some marvelous ideas.  Yet, nobody has yet mentioned issues that come with organizing international weddings with fiancees and their families living in different countries. The costs of transport alone could be enormous. I know friends who eloped to the Carribean, another couple to Jamaica and another couple to Mexico.  They invited anyone who wished to attend an intimate wedding and then held small receptions back home for relatives and close friends. Anyone ever consider a teleconference wedding? You could pick your location of choice and send an Internet video back via u-tube or another electronic system. Why not? Would your parents really care? After all, the ceremony is a formality for whom?