"I don't have any kids and don't know what it's really like."

Tell people you will only use organic cotton on the baby, and 90% will give polyester soaked in flame-retardant chemicals.  Say, "I want organic cotton pajamas from Hannah-Anderson," and they will only remember "pajamas."  If you give a catalog, they will look at it and remember how expensive everything was and imagine how happy you will be to get a three-pack from Wal-mart instead.

Say you want only wood toys, and you will get mostly plastic push-button ones that take several batteries.

Smiling and saying "Thank you" is still required.

If one person honors your requests, consider it a blessing.  Normally the only way to get what you want is to buy it yourself.  At least that's my experience.  

As a mom myself we buy a lot of cotton, but as a hand spinner I make the sweaters for my sons socks and blankets too. I do a ton of "hand me downs" and you could always "register" baby shower wise with a shop or place that understands your  preferences.
I myself am designing a new line of all natural baby clothes. the harshest chemical on them will be vinegar, and the colors added to the clothes would be in "stages" just like foods. I will begin with things like wool diaper covers, socks , booties, blankets and hats hoping to expand into sweaters and more within the next year.. but all the items are hand spun from my own sheep, and also hand knitted. so the going is not as fast as I wish. I also dont know about the interest level in the things I want to do.But commentary on availability of these items to moms who hope for more it is a great thread.
and if we want to get into just how green? my spinning wheel is all powered by me, my wool is dried on my trampoline and washed the first few times in sun warmed water..but as far as the baby line,
 if it wont buy sheep food maybe I need to keep making christmas ornaments and sculpting all wool puppets ..  so hearing that baby items are even wanted is a big big help
thanks so much ! Melissa176
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I just reread your question....I would make myself clear, otherwise you will be taking a lot of stuff to the Salvation Army.  

first of all, make it clear that you'll breastfeed the kid and will therefore need none of the paraphernalia associated with bottles.  You would, however, love a breast pump (unless you have a college roommate who owns one who is willing to share -- one breast pump can serve many families if you all space your children handily!)

Find a website or two with gorgeous slings in all price ranges.  You can survive quite nicely with one sling.  Two or even three -- in different weights and warmths -- would still be better for the environment than one plastic, non-recyclable stroller.  

And shelters for mamas and babies without anywhere else to call home will usually gladly take all your extra receiving blankets.  I think I got twenty or so and used about three.

Hi. I had a baby about 8 months ago, and I used the website thethingsiwant.com. It allows you to pick various items from other online sources and put them all together in a registry-type list. The only problem I found with it is that people have to make sure they note when they have fulfilled something...it's not automatic.

Of course, this doesn't help the "used" request. We didn't have a shower and we therefore only got stuff from our family and close friends, so it wasn't all that much and then I could buy everything else used. Actually we got a ton of stuff from friends, so we hardly bought anything new.

Good luck!

Karen

I've learned a lot in the last 7 months.  I highly recommend bottles if you plan on leaving a breast-fed baby in her dad's care.  Once maternity leave ends, breast pumping is key.  Dr. Brown's turned out to be the best bottle we used.

Great suggestion putting the diaper service on the gift list.

Our gift list had many lovely eco-products on it and almost no one bought them for us.  We included another registry on Target and that's where most everything came from.  I wasn't a fan of that scheme.  But as with anything, people seem to want to buy a gift object rather than give you money.  I let it go in the end.  The poly-yuk stuffed toys abounded and they were donated to worthy causes.  What can you do.

For years my mom asked us, "Now what does organic mean again?"  So when my sister wanted only organic, eco-friendly stuff for my nephew, it was tough.  One thing my sister did that really seemed to help my mom understand was explaining that they didn't want him to put plastic and other chemicals in his mouth.  It took a couple years of trial-and-error gift giving, but now my mom has gotten really good about finding gifts they love.  If you're persistant and appreciative people can come around.

In my experience most people want to spend $20-30 on a baby gift unless they're close family, and organic baby clothes just don't fit in this monetary constraint.  Wooden toys and books, do, however, so that's something you could stress.  My new current favorite new mom book is Someday, illustrated by Peter Reynolds.  People can also write a message to you and/or the baby inside.  Alternately you could ask people to chip in for a few big ticket items, like your favorite baby sling, car seat, or backpack.  Used baby things are very easy to come by on freecycle and craigslist, since by definition babies grow out of baby things.  But people feel funny getting a new mom something used; they want to cherish your leap into motherhood.  You could ask for non-material gifts, like a massage or a cleaning service for your house for the baby's first 6 months.  Also, I highly recommend a subscription to Mothering magazine!

We have a children's store in the Portland area, Milagros, and we offer a mix of environmentally-friendly and recycled items for mama and baby as well as cloth diapers and slings. There are other stores in our area that also offer these types of alternatives.

We have a gift registry at Milagros and I am certain that other stores do this as well. Finding  a local alternative - or an internet alternative- to register at can help point folks on your preferred path for gift items.

However, as noted in many comments, be ready to just say thank-you and graciously accept any "unexpected" gifts. Responses to our environmentally-friendly or "donate instead of gifts" for any variety of traditional "gifting" occasions have been a little mixed overall.

As time has gone by and we have maintained our gentle requests, our family and friends seem to mostly support our desires. Of course we still graciously accept every unexpected gift, every gift is coming from the heart after all and that is AlWAYS welcome.