It's All in the List
Our Earth Day nod to the year's goodies, oddities, and inanities
20 Apr 2006
With Earth Day fast approaching, we're pleased to bring you the First Ever List of Grist Superlatives. It's our modest take on the year past, and a few predictions for things to come. Miffed about what we missed? You're welcome to make additions in Gristmill.
Most improbable movie star: Al Gore
Scariest preview of coming attractions: Katrina
Species most likely to go extinct within the year: climate skeptic
Mega-corporation we love to hate ... or is it hate to love? (tie): General Electric; "Beyond" Petroleum
Most hackneyed phrase: "Green is the new black"
Political fight most reminiscent of Groundhog Day: Arctic National Wildlife Refuge
Biggest crybaby: Ted Stevens
Place we'd most like to see Grist's name: Chris Martin's left hand
Press announcement most likely to be accompanied by music of angelic choir: Evangelical Climate Initiative
Greenest Kennedy of 2006: Arnold Schwarzenegger
Most hyped weed: switchgrass
Second-most hyped weed: hemp
Most likely to attempt to smoke own product: Willie Nelson
Most likely to attempt to blow smoke up your ass: Richard Pombo
Most popular environmental oxymoron: "clean coal"
Second most popular: "safe, clean nuclear power"
Cutest tiny new car: Obvio!
Cutest tiny new car likely to be embraced by the American public: Yeah, right
Hottest eco-model: Summer Rayne Oakes
OK, only eco-model: Summer Rayne Oakes
Ex-big-oil executive most likely to show up with a bikini-clad girl on a chain and a grudge against Han Solo: Lee Raymond
Best new book on climate change: Field Notes From a Catastrophe
Other best new book on climate change: The Weather Makers
Global-warming critter crisis most likely to make us sob (tie): starving polar bear; drowning baby walrus
Best green website (besides ours, of course): Treechanging ... uh, we mean Worldhugger
Global-warming activist who pops up more often than Zelig: Laurie David
Stinkiest eco-innovation: San Francisco's poop power
Kinkiest eco-innovation: phthalate-free sex toys
Sneakiest way for big ag to make a buck: corn-based ethanol
Angstiest question for green community: Are we dead?
Second-angstiest: Is it OK to say good things about Wal-Mart?
Least photogenic eco-celeb: Mr. Floatie
Smartest fine-we'll-do-it-ourselves political move (tie): U.S. Mayors Climate Protection Agreement; Regional Greenhouse Gas Initiative
Most Scientology-esque acceptance of sci-fi writer as source of scientific truth: George W. Bush's tête-á-tête with Michael Crichton
Best and worst marketing idea: Make-your-own Chevy Tahoe commercial
Government leader whose big talk on climate is most likely to be muffled by Bush's bum affixed to his lips: Tony Blair
Most overlooked source of energy: efficiency
Web petition most likely to actually amount to something: stopglobalwarming.org
Hottest self-defeating anti-Kyoto argument: It costs too much, and doesn't do enough
Hottest fake Kyoto: Asia-Pacific Partnership on Clean Development and Climate
Least significant environmental decision you will ever make, so for the love of god stop worrying about it: paper vs. plastic
State most likely to secede: California
Hottest seller of 2010: hybrid minivan
Green celeb we kind of miss seeing around: Ed Begley Jr.
Story we feel most guilty for being bored by: ice, somewhere, melting
Best eco-themed folk music album: ...
Least impressive way to demonstrate your eco-consciousness: buying stuff
Most likely to stock up on bottled water and beef jerky if oil surges past $80 a barrel: James Howard Kunstler
Term most likely to wear out the scare-quote key on our keyboards: "eco-terrorism"
Daily Grist headline we still chuckle about: Cattle Star Redactica
Law least able to protect itself: Endangered Species Act
Most depressing acquisition of 2006: Colgate's purchase of Tom's of Maine
Worst way to deal with climate change: nuclear energy
Easiest way to create appearance of eco-benignity: green tags
Democratic senator most likely to stab enviros in the back: Daniel Inouye
Country most likely to be oil-free first: Sweden
Most likely to be last: don't make us say it
Most over-used tool in environmentalist toolbox: fear
Tool still in bag with price tag on it: hope
Best car of 2006: your bike
Grist's favorite source of angry letters to the editor: vegans
Mustachiest geo-green: Thomas Friedman
Second mustachiest: Roscoe Bartlett
Best place to look for ways to reduce ecological impact: mirror
Add your own superlatives to the list in Gristmill.
Soaking up the Sundance.
Photo: Eric Neitzel/ WireImage.com.
Scariest preview of coming attractions: Katrina
Species most likely to go extinct within the year: climate skeptic
Mega-corporation we love to hate ... or is it hate to love? (tie): General Electric; "Beyond" Petroleum
Most hackneyed phrase: "Green is the new black"
Political fight most reminiscent of Groundhog Day: Arctic National Wildlife Refuge
Biggest crybaby: Ted Stevens
Place we'd most like to see Grist's name: Chris Martin's left hand
And the angels sing.
Photo: iStockphoto.
Greenest Kennedy of 2006: Arnold Schwarzenegger
Most hyped weed: switchgrass
Second-most hyped weed: hemp
Most likely to attempt to smoke own product: Willie Nelson
Most likely to attempt to blow smoke up your ass: Richard Pombo
Most popular environmental oxymoron: "clean coal"
Second most popular: "safe, clean nuclear power"
Summer time.
Photo: Emily Gertz.
Cutest tiny new car likely to be embraced by the American public: Yeah, right
Hottest eco-model: Summer Rayne Oakes
OK, only eco-model: Summer Rayne Oakes
Ex-big-oil executive most likely to show up with a bikini-clad girl on a chain and a grudge against Han Solo: Lee Raymond
Best new book on climate change: Field Notes From a Catastrophe
Other best new book on climate change: The Weather Makers
We are the walrus.
Photo: NOAA Photo Library.
Best green website (besides ours, of course): Treechanging ... uh, we mean Worldhugger
Global-warming activist who pops up more often than Zelig: Laurie David
Stinkiest eco-innovation: San Francisco's poop power
Kinkiest eco-innovation: phthalate-free sex toys
Sneakiest way for big ag to make a buck: corn-based ethanol
Angstiest question for green community: Are we dead?
Second-angstiest: Is it OK to say good things about Wal-Mart?
Floatie happens.
Photo: POOP.
Smartest fine-we'll-do-it-ourselves political move (tie): U.S. Mayors Climate Protection Agreement; Regional Greenhouse Gas Initiative
Most Scientology-esque acceptance of sci-fi writer as source of scientific truth: George W. Bush's tête-á-tête with Michael Crichton
Best and worst marketing idea: Make-your-own Chevy Tahoe commercial
Government leader whose big talk on climate is most likely to be muffled by Bush's bum affixed to his lips: Tony Blair
Most overlooked source of energy: efficiency
Web petition most likely to actually amount to something: stopglobalwarming.org
Hottest self-defeating anti-Kyoto argument: It costs too much, and doesn't do enough
Hottest fake Kyoto: Asia-Pacific Partnership on Clean Development and Climate
Least significant environmental decision you will ever make, so for the love of god stop worrying about it: paper vs. plastic
See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya.
Photo: iStockphoto.
Hottest seller of 2010: hybrid minivan
Green celeb we kind of miss seeing around: Ed Begley Jr.
Story we feel most guilty for being bored by: ice, somewhere, melting
Best eco-themed folk music album: ...
Least impressive way to demonstrate your eco-consciousness: buying stuff
Most likely to stock up on bottled water and beef jerky if oil surges past $80 a barrel: James Howard Kunstler
Term most likely to wear out the scare-quote key on our keyboards: "eco-terrorism"
Daily Grist headline we still chuckle about: Cattle Star Redactica
Law least able to protect itself: Endangered Species Act
Foaming at the mouth.
Photo: iStockphoto.
Worst way to deal with climate change: nuclear energy
Easiest way to create appearance of eco-benignity: green tags
Democratic senator most likely to stab enviros in the back: Daniel Inouye
Country most likely to be oil-free first: Sweden
Most likely to be last: don't make us say it
Most over-used tool in environmentalist toolbox: fear
Tool still in bag with price tag on it: hope
Best car of 2006: your bike
Grist's favorite source of angry letters to the editor: vegans
Mustachiest geo-green: Thomas Friedman
Second mustachiest: Roscoe Bartlett
Best place to look for ways to reduce ecological impact: mirror
Add your own superlatives to the list in Gristmill.
Also in Grist
The Week's Most Popular
From the Archives
Don't Discount Him, by Amanda Griscom Little. An interview with Wal-Mart CEO H. Lee Scott.
Field of Nightmares, by David Roberts. A conversation with climate journalist Elizabeth Kolbert.
Guster's Last Stand, by Sarah van Schagen. The barnstorming band that's changing the world, one campus at a time.
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