Yeah, Right, and Pluto's Not a Planet

Research team says Amazon River is longer than the Nile

Every so often, a news story comes along that is so astonishing, so monumental, that it shakes the foundations of everything you hold dear, leading you to question fundamental truths. This ... is not one of those stories, but it's interesting nonetheless. A team of researchers from Brazil claims to have found a new source for the Amazon River -- a source that would add 176 miles to its length, earning it the title of world's longest river. Suck it, Nile! "Today we can consider the river Amazon the longest river in the world," said Guido Gelli of the Brazilian Institute of Geography and Statistics, which sponsored a 14-day expedition to pinpoint the river's source. Turns out it lies high on a snow-capped mountain in Peru called Mismi -- at least, so say the Brazilians. Academics from Egypt and elsewhere are not expected to accept the new data -- which puts the Amazon 65 miles ahead of de Nile -- without a fight. Also, your fifth-grade teacher is going to file some sort of petition.