Sunday, 01 Apr 2007

April Fools' Day edition:

Sale Ends Today!

Wal-Mart pulls the plug on green initiatives

Wal-Mart CEO Lee Scott, who announced a high-profile series of green corporate initiatives last year, has now ... taken them back. Citing high costs, Scott yesterday announced that Wal-Mart is canceling most of its sustainability programs, shifting its truck fleet back to diesel (from biofuels), shuttering its experimental hyper-efficient stores, and pulling organic products from its shelves. The only remaining evidence of Wal-Mart's much-ballyhooed green makeover will be -- you guessed it -- light bulbs. "We're keeping the compact fluorescents. Those are pretty cheap," said Scott. "The rest of the stuff we tried was too expensive. In the end, our customers value low prices more than sustainability, and at Wal-Mart, we listen to our customers."

Green Is the New Blahnik

High-end shoe designer goes eco

Manolo Blahnik, the high-end shoe designer immortalized by the fashion-forward women of Sex and the City, made a name for himself by keeping attuned to cultural trends -- and though we still can't quite believe it, green is the trend du jour. So, for the summer season, Blahnik is unveiling a new eco-conscious design called the "Tuvalu," a wedge sandal named after the low-lying South Pacific island that may soon be swamped by rising sea levels. Though the strappy uppers will be made of leather and produced at a factory in Bangladesh, the wedge itself will be made of sustainably harvested cork (which, as the designer points out, floats!). The purchase price of $750 includes $20 worth of carbon offsets. "They're green and they're fabulous," says Blahnik. "Sarah Jessica has already snapped up two pair."

Coulter Heist

Grist chats with conservative darling Ann Coulter

Despite the unpleasantness earlier this year, when she referred to Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards as a "faggot," mega-selling conservative author and media star Ann Coulter has long been a thoughtful critic of environmentalism. She's called it "anti-human," and says greens "want to kill humans" -- and that's just the beginning of the tough love. Grist caught up with Coulter in the Hannity & Colmes green room and, over a plate of canapés, chatted about cap-and-trade programs, fuel-efficiency standards, and enviros' "abiding hatred of God, America, and deodorant."

Give Me Some of Your Tots

New company offers child offsets

Seems like everyone is offsetting their carbon emissions these days, from presidential hopeful John Edwards to the organizers of the Super Bowl. But what about offsetting their kids? A new venture called TerraTots is offering "child offsets" to parents feeling guilty over bringing wee ones into the world. For $100, TerraTots will offset the ecological impact of high-consuming little Emma or Dylan by working to reduce childbirths in developing countries through the provision of free birth control in underserved communities. "It takes 20 Bangladeshis to equal the ecological footprint of one American," says TerraTot CEO Nick Benedict, "so to offset your kid, you need to prevent the birth of 20 kids in Bangladesh." He emphasizes that all the family-planning services TerraTots offers are completely voluntary. Hollywood celebs have already jumped at the newest marker of green cred -- Julia Roberts has offset her twins, and Gwyneth Paltrow was overheard bragging how eco-friendly Apple and Moses have become.

A Calculated Fisk

Umbra on herself

For years, advice maven Umbra Fisk has deftly handled queries about the lives of her readers: Should I use paper or plastic? Buy a new car or stick with the old clunker? Get married in Maui or stay closer to home? But there's another sort of question that she tends to deflect: Who are you? What do you look like? Will you marry me? (Yes, it's been asked.) So prepare yourselves, dear readers: we've decided it's time for the real Umbra to stand up and take a bow. Today you'll finally get the answers you've been asking for. (Uh, except for that whole marriage thing. That's just weird.)

A Fool and His Funny ...

Grist pulls readers' legs once again

Happy April Fools' Day!