April Fools' Day edition:

A Calculated Fisk

Umbra on herself

For years, advice maven Umbra Fisk has deftly handled queries about the lives of her readers: Should I use paper or plastic? Buy a new car or stick with the old clunker? Get married in Maui or stay closer to home? But there's another sort of question that she tends to deflect: Who are you? What do you look like? Will you marry me? (Yes, it's been asked.) So prepare yourselves, dear readers: we've decided it's time for the real Umbra to stand up and take a bow. Today you'll finally get the answers you've been asking for. (Uh, except for that whole marriage thing. That's just weird.)