Do the Hempty Hemp

Hemp farming could be legalized in California

Farmers could legally grow industrial hemp under a bill approved by the state Senate of, obviously, California. But isn't hemp, like, totally marijuana? Didn't Nancy Reagan warn us about this? No, no, says (Republican!) state Sen. Tom McClintock, in the best analogy we've ever heard: Hemp "bears no more resemblance to marijuana than a poodle bears to a wolf." The legislation would require that hemp be tested before harvesting to make sure it has only a trace amount of THC, the intoxicant in marijuana. Hemp-growing is illegal in the U.S., for all kinds of logical reasons we can't think of right now, and the bill would attempt to skirt a federal crackdown by requiring farmers to sell only to California processors. Hemp can be used in clothing, cosmetics, food, paper, rope, jewelry, luggage, sports equipment, toys, and food -- it's high in essential fatty acids, protein, B vitamins, and fiber. But we sacrifice all that, because of the dope thing. It makes sense. If you're high.