By the end of this year, the U.S. EPA's Superfund account will have dwindled to just $28 million -- barely enough to finance a study on how to clean up one of the 1,200 contaminated sites around the nation, let alone enough for actual restoration. But never fear, the EPA is dedicating its energy to another important battle: promoting "environmentally beneficial behavior" on prime-time TV shows. (Picture Will and Grace composting in the back alley of their Manhattan apartment building.) But why take half measures, asks Joshua Zaffos in Grist's Soapbox? It's time for a new EPA-sponsored reality TV show. Think Survivor meets American Idol," with candidates vying to replace Christie Whitman as the new agency administrator, or chumping for money to clean up toxic waste in their hometowns. Read Zaffos' proposal for the all-new EPA TV, on the Grist Magazine website.