Monday, 01 Apr 2002

April Fools' Day edition:

If at First You Don't Succeed, Fly, Fly Again

Citing terrorist threats to ground-based transportation, the U.S. Nuclear Regulatory Commission is investigating the possibility of flying nuclear waste from around the country to the proposed Yucca Mountain repository in Nevada. Observers say that the NRC may be pursuing the strategy for reasons besides terrorism: Local citizens groups have been increasingly outspoken against allowing nuclear waste to be transported by truck or train through their communities, and the NRC may be hoping to avoid a series of lawsuits by shipping the waste via plane. "Everyone knows that flying is safer than driving," said an NRC spokesperson, "so it just makes sense to ship our spent nuclear fuel aboard airplanes." Anti-nuclear activists, however, have described the plan as "premature."

Frog Gonnit!

Scientists are no closer to understanding what is causing the startling decline of frogs and other amphibians around the world, but they have found a new reason to worry about it. It turns out that the loss of our green and slimy friends may contribute to global warming by undermining the ecological processes that keep wood-eating insects in check. With fewer and fewer amphibians, the numbers of some wood-boring insects are growing exponentially, impairing tree health around the world and limiting their ability to serve as carbon sinks. According to scientist Fernando Nottebohm in the most recent issue of Leap, The Journal of Frog Science, the loss of amphibians may be responsible for between 6 and 11 percent of total greenhouse gas emissions over the last two decades.

They've Got the Blues

Sure, the American crocodile, northern gray wolf, and Atlantic salmon all receive protection under the U.S. Endangered Species Act -- but now some folks want to add another critter to the list: the Russian Blue, a purebred domestic cat. Two organizations, Pedigreed Cat Breeders International and the Association of Russian Blue Owners, are lobbying the U.S. government to grant Russian Blues protection under the ESA. Although not wild, Russian Blues are rare, at least as housecats go, and their numbers are declining. Unlike most cats, female Blues enter estrus only once every other year and average just a kitten or two per litter, and sperm counts in male Blues have dropped alarmingly over the last 30 years. Protected status would make it easier to secure funding for research into the reproductive biology of Russian Blues. Defenders of the proposal say the cats are as much a part of the Earth's overall genetic diversity as Bengal tigers. Opponents counter that the species law was never meant to cover domesticated animals.

Red Light, Green Light

Never known for its restraint, Las Vegas will soon be taking an enormous gamble on energy conservation. A recent city ordinance will require 80 percent of all lighted signs on the power-hungry Strip, the home of the city's flashiest casinos, to be replaced with energy-efficient compact fluorescent bulbs by 2007. This move alone will shave nearly 30 percent from the city's total electricity bill and delay construction of new power plants by at least a decade. The casino industry, which has been trying to burnish its image in recent years, supported the law and is hoping to promote Las Vegas as an eco-mecca. Additional energy conservation measures are under consideration by the Las Vegas City Council, including a compact-fluorescent red light district.

Fearless Leader

Well, the good news is the environmental movement has at least one fearless leader: Greenpeace Executive Director John Passacantando, who was recently selected to participate in NBC's hit reality show "Fear Factor." Passacantando said he submitted his name as a joke after being dared by his wife, but plans to go through with it. Contestants on the show complete terrifying, thrilling, or just plain disgusting challenges to stay in the game and win prize money. Some of the show's challenges -- scaling towers, rappelling from buildings, and so forth -- should be no problem for the veteran of many environmental protests. Other parts could be tough because they rely heavily on doing gross things with animals -- think eating raw calves' eyes, scuba diving in a tank full of dead squid, and being covered in snakes and cockroaches. Passacantando said, "Dangling from bridges is one thing, but I'm afraid of snakes."

Under-Secretaries

Maybe living underground makes you feel closer to the Earth: President Bush's "shadow government" -- the nearly 100 senior officials who have been living in Cold War-era bunkers since Sept. 11 -- sent a missive to the White House late last month advocating ratification of the Kyoto Protocol on climate change. The administration is refusing to comment on the document, which was leaked to the Washington Post over the weekend. Formally known as the National Emergency Management Team, the shadow government is charged with running the nation in the event of a catastrophic attack on the capital, not with making environmental policy recommendations. One anonymous official reported, however, that boredom and the desire to act had turned the bunkers into mini-think tanks: "It's like the Constitutional Convention down there." Sen. Patrick Leahy (D-Vt.), who has expressed skepticism of the shadow government arrangement, said, "I guess this is the silver lining."

Gotcha

This edition of Daily Grist is a joke. Happy April Fools' Day!