But The Detroit Free Press piece is a literary gem:

<<
"It was an assault on a core value of free and open inquiry at a research university," Simon said. "Once you the chill the academic climate from doing this kind of work, the cost to society is enormous."
>>

You tell 'em, Simon.  Everything at universities is sweetness and light; no outside interests are involved whatsoever.  Simon says!

<<
For eight years, investigators persisted. They traveled across 10 states to unravel the MSU crime, as well as a separate incident a day later in northern Michigan, involving the burning of equipment used for logging.
>>

Shot: bloodhounds on leashes in a forest.  Cut to: bloodhounds on leashes in a meadow.  Cut to: bloodhounds arriving at a motel room.  Cut to: bloodhounds on leashes in a swamp.  Cut to: bloodhounds lying exhausted by a motel swimming pool.

<<
Mason and Ambrose face four counts of felony arson. They could be sentenced from 7 to 40 years in prison.
>>

Oh dear.  But if that is what you get for allegedly destroying the foundation of hopes for good relations with developing countries, then how much time should the Bush/Cheney administration be sentenced for?

<<
The indictment describes an almost comic scene at the MSU building, where Mason's hair was accidentally set on fire as Ambrose lit a fuse to a crude gasoline bomb and caused an explosion. Mason cut short her spray-painting slogans with black paint, as the two fled the scene into the cold night, the indictment said.
>>

"Into the cold night"!  With hair on fire!  This writer is hopefully working on bigger, better stuff.

<<
Upon setting fire to the equipment, Fultz spray-painted a flatbed truck with the words, "ELF" and "Go Log in Hell."
>>

"Logging in Hell" ought to inspire a Dantesque, Gustave-Dore'-ish, Gary-Larson-ish vision.

<<
FBI agent Andrew Arena, of the agency's Detroit office, led the investigation.
>>

Ah yes, Agent Arena.  Our hero.  Played by Colin Farrell.  (Cf. "Minority Report.")

<<
He called the arrests significant in attempts to blunt homegrown terrorism in the United States, especially given the eight years it took to indict.
>>

Well, he would say that, wouldn't he.  Definitely in the style of Timothy McVeigh and Mohammed Atta.

<<
"We sent a message to these people that time will not deter us," Arena said.
>>

Captain Bligh (Trevor Howard) to Mr. Christian (Marlon Brando) in "Mutiny on the Bounty," as Bligh and his few supporters are put off in a boat: "Just remember, Christian, wherever you go, to whatever island you flee, I'll be right behind you, with a rope in my hands!"

<<
In early 2001, Ambrose was charged in Indiana with driving 10-inch nails into trees at a logging site to discourage tree-cutting -- an act attributed to ELF.
>>

I thought 9-inch nails was the cool size.  But anyway, is that a nice thing to do to trees, even if you want to save them from the chain-saw managers?

<<
Mason told the Free Press in 2003 that she was a chemist who left corporate life to work in an animal hospital.
>>

Well, there you are!  Lock her up!  The animals will do just fine, thank you, without a hair-burnt klutz who pounds nails into trees.

Chickens deserve our true friendship! So do fish! So do other sentient beings! Let us learn to be kind.

So far all ELF has done is get a bunch of its members thrown in prison. Perhaps in their next communique they can describe all the good work they are doing for the earth within the confines of a six by nine cell. It should be a fascinating piece.

Randy Cunningham

Randy Cunningham

Canis, your post is a good starting place for an comical animated version of the event.  Genetic engineering is totally evil and should be stopped by any means necessary, but it doesn't seem that this type of action is effective in any way.  Does feel good, though.