Bush killed Osama, the president was born in Kenya, and there's no such thing as oil subsidies. Not buying it? You just need practice. If you can believe six impossible things before breakfast every day, before you know it you'll be as adept as Utah Rep. Rob Bishop, who last week told a constituent that "There are no special subsidies or tax breaks for oil companies, period."

Mind you, the House GOP — including Bishop — just voted to extend the special subsidies and tax breaks for oil companies, shooting down a proposal that would have recouped tens of billions of dollars from the five largest firms (which are wildly profitable right about now). They all seem to be in denial about it, though, probably because it's a manifestly sh*tty thing to do. Most GOPers are expressing this denial by saying they don't support tax breaks for Big Oil even though they just did. Bishop's just taking it to the next level by claiming the subsidies don't even exist. We eagerly await the moment in the primary debates when, in response to a question about oil company subsidies, all eight or 10 candidates put their fingers in their ears and scream.