It's not exactly news -- Umbra made the point in her column on green weddings a couple of months ago, and others have no doubt said it -- but a piece in Salon today on the wedding industry points out that green weddings are not so magical as they seem:
Then, there's the recent development of green weddings and carbon-neutral weddings. It's very small, but you'll get people talking about how they want to have a carbon-neutral wedding, so they'll be making donations to this or that company that will offset their emissions ... You know, you could just not have a wedding! That would be the most environmentally conscious thing of all. But the new "green wedding" industry is not going to suggest you do that.
Not have a wedding! But, but ...
Climate-news poem: Breath-catching edition
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Sarah K. Burkhalter Posted 2:18 am
21 May 2007
Yes, but ...
"Wedding" doesn't have to be synonymous with flying 1,000 guests to a Pacific island, serving them steak on plastic plates, and throwing away all the decorations after depleting the flown-in-from-France champagne fountain.
There are other steps one can take besides carbon offsets to make a wedding less resource-intensive.
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TerraPassTom Posted 2:19 am
21 May 2007
Actually walking to city hall...
As one of our TerraPass readers said, walking to city hall ain't too bad.
The only thing greener would be getting the snip-snip on your way home ;-)
Tom Arnold Chief Environmental Officer TerraPass
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caniscandida Posted 5:36 am
21 May 2007
the baby and the bath water
The way weddings are done in the US is indeed stupid, annoying and offensive enough already, aside from their being environmentally destructive too. And among the very many issues excavating and widening the chasm of misunderstanding between Girls and Boys, there is this, that so many little Girls dream of this Wonderful Event, that Glorious Day when they will be The Sparkling Princess Lighting Up the Universe.
And on the other side, just to be fair, the Boys are bumbling beasts too, never to give a thought to the Day at all, and then when it comes, all they are thinking about is the reserved hotel room in Cancun. Specifically, the bed in the reserved hotel room in Cancun.
So fine, on one level, we do well to encourage two people, who, for reasons of their own, think they would be better off getting married, to take the subway to the court house, say what they have to say, sign what they have to sign, then afterwards, if they have time, buy soft ice cream in cups (hopefully biodegradable) and sit in the park eating it.
On the other hand, though, society needs its rituals. And marriage is one of those things that requires a bit of ritualized celebration.
Surely the ritual aspect, including giving a nice party for family and friends, can be maintained, without the wedding turning into The Bride-zilla Show?
The need to travel to these things is probably the worst single problem, environment-wise. So for starters, let us encourage the soon-to-be-married set not to locate the Blessed Event in distant places, and not to make attendance at it an uncompromising, take-no-prisoners, "If you really are my friend you will be there" issue.
And as for carbon-offsetting everything, sure, that is a sweet idea. But there are other, simplifying reforms which are definitely better.
As a final thought, we should remember that in this not especially enlightened society of ours, there are many people who would very much like to be married, and to receive all the benefits and privileges that come with the married state -- to say nothing of the wedding presents -- , but are strictly forbidden from doing so. And those straight couples who refuse to get married until the right of gay couples to get married is legally recognized are wonderful, good-hearted people. A bit quixotic, perhaps, and we in the LGBT community are certainly not asking them to make that sacrifice. Nevertheless, we are sincerely touched by their attention and friendship.
Chickens are our cousins! So are other sensitive animals! Enough is enough! No more factory farms!
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Dawn Pillsbury Posted 8:27 am
21 May 2007
Marital madness
That's a tough row to hoe (particularly if you don't sharpen your hoe first). American women can't even seem to refrain from whining for diamonds steeped in blood. Even after seeing Leonardo di Caprio get killed for them.
I can't imagine asking a bridezilla to refrain from purchasing specialty tissues for Her Special Day (TM). Maybe Seventh Generation should come out with some and just not mention the post-consumer recycled content on the packaging.
It's been almost a year since Green_Engineer and I tied the knot. The Contra Costa County Deputy Registrar of Civil Marraige said we were the most earnest couple she had wed. Then we spent the afternoon getting straw to sheet mulch our back yard.
sigh
A perfect day.
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eriqa Posted 9:20 am
21 May 2007
"ceremony" ~= "extravaganza"
Some years back two friends of mine got married outdoors in a nearby state park. White dress, minister, vows, rings, weepy guests, nibbles - yes. Far-flung guest list, catered food, dyed bridesmaids' shoes - no. The flowers were already blooming onsite, and the weather, and the wedding, were beautiful. Then we all ate simple picnic food and had a nice afternoon. This is the model I look forward to following!
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caniscandida Posted 4:17 pm
21 May 2007
"a perfect day"
Thanks, Dawn, and congratulations to GreenEngineer! Much happiness to both of you!
Are you guys the only spousally associated pair in the Gristmill community?
Michael and I do not have a back yard to throw mulch over, and anyway we were in downtown Montreal when we got married, in 8/2005. But Little Dog (whom we left for that hour with a very nice sitter, named Armand) loves big cities, and we all had fun.
We certainly must have struck the judge, of the Province of Quebec, as sober, even perhaps nerdy. But I doubt we came across as "earnest": we had already been together way too long for that. Anyway, Madame la Juge, a very kind and hospitable woman, kept her personal judgments to herself. And, being a professional, she probably did not let those judgments waste her time for at all long.
Needless to say, as much as we love going to Quebec, it would have been much nicer if we could have got married here at home.
Eriqa, the wedding that you describe sounds just right. Whether a wedding with guests always requires music and dancing, and whether a state park can accommodate those things, who knows? But clearly you and many others were happy, and that is what counts.
Chickens are our cousins! So are other sensitive animals! Enough is enough! No more factory farms!
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amc89 Posted 2:07 am
22 May 2007
Simpler definitely best
I must be one of the few ladies in the country that can truthfully say I've never had wedding fantasies. Luckily neither has my partner. He once threw out the idea of a "commitment ceremony" which we both soundly rejected after 2 minutes of discussing how much it would cost and the effort it would take. We're just too practical. So many other ways I'd like to spend our limited time and money.
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lizwuerker Posted 3:57 am
22 May 2007
glad to see this
I actually commented about this on salon.com (see princesita) and am writing a blog entry about it now. It is nice to see it here. I didn't have a "green wedding." But I am not sure that a standard wedding uses all that much extra carbon. We invited the people that we needed to invite, had it at the visitor center of a local park, and had it catered by a local Mexican restaurant. It was modest. We aren't rich. But it was a fun party, and important to us and our families. We registered for items which I anticipate that we will use. Our families are good people, they don't need us to preach to them.
The notion of a green wedding is itself so consumerist. The idea that you can call a destination wedding green because you bought carbon offsets is mind boggling.
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WKB Posted 7:17 am
22 May 2007
Weddings are also about community
The in-the-flesh kind.
We got married in a gazebo by a lake on the property of the reception hall, so people wouldn't be driving to and fro and to again. Insisted on the real dishes, had veggie lasagna (those two things were our biggest cost), and had friends and family bring a single flower, with which my sister-in-law decorated the lattice on the gazebo before I walked down a hillside in a dress my mother-in-law made. Each of the flowers represented someone who loved us.
I've gone on longer than I intended but it was the purtiest wedding ever...sniff.
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Dawn Pillsbury Posted 7:46 am
22 May 2007
Carbon and the wedding-industrial complex
Thank you, caniscandida. Folks don't generally go about naming their connubial connections on this forum, so I have no idea if we're the only wedded ones here, but somehow I doubt it. Mixed relationships are so difficult, expecially green/non-green.
I hope you will be able to garden. We're permies and thus hooked on food gardening (lots of pictures here).
Our best friends are getting hitched this weekend, with a moderately big (~100 people) shindig that they're trying to keep low-footprint, so this has been greatly in my mind. The bride is keeping her sanity, despite being caught in the cogs of the wedding-industrial complex.
They're being sensible and renting real plates and cups, etc. No dyed bridesmaids shoes (thank goodness - I'm too old for that kind of nonsense). I wonder how the energy consumption numbers pencil out for transporting and washing real v. producing and disposing of disposable (including the inevietable dry cleaning that disposables incur).
Another pair of friends got invited to an upcoming wedding-stravaganza. The registry, which mostly consisted of sponsoring honeymoon activities, also included buying offsets for the newlywed's plane trip.
headdesk
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caniscandida Posted 8:23 am
22 May 2007
"permies"?
Now there's a new word ...
Thanks for the link, Dawn. The sinister gentleman who keeps his hat pulled down over his eyes and wears Stephen-King-prop gloves is not GreenEngineer himself, is he?
There is a touch of ethics, in your discussion of thinning seedlings, which was bittersweet:
<<
It's painful to kill those tiny plants, but the ones you leave behind will be much better for it.
>>
Of course, such reasoning is not easy to transfer out of Kingdom Plantae.
I also liked especially that bit about honeybees as an endangered species, in connexion with making mead.
Since you used the Italian word "stravaganza," which is unusual in English, instead of "extravaganza," I am curious: Do you know the series of novels for young adults by the English writer Mary Hoffman, called "Stravaganza"? Involving time travel to a parallel universe based on the Italian Renaissance? So far there are three books in the series; but after doing Venice, Siena and Florence, she has written to tell me she is doing research in Padua, in the hope of producing a fourth volume.
Chickens are our cousins! So are other sensitive animals! Enough is enough! No more factory farms!
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