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"I'll retract the rape complaint from the wombat, because he's pulled out. Apart from speaking Australian now, I'm pretty all right you know. I didn't hurt my bum at all."
-- New Zealander Arthur Cradock, who was subsequently charged with "using a phone for a fictitious purpose"
David Roberts is staff writer for Grist. You can follow his Twitter feed at twitter.com/drgrist.
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