So, I claimed a few days ago that environmentalism is never funny. Apparently, there's some dispute about this matter. So we're going to settle it once and for all. And we're going to start with the most basic unit of humor on the planet, the unit of humor that dragged itself up out of the primordial swamp and flopped onto land, causing the other protozoa to giggle and roll their eyes.
Yes: the knock-knock joke.
You think environmental matters can be funny? Prove it. Leave us a green knock-knock joke in the comments. We dare you.
We'll select a winner -- or maybe let you vote on one -- in a week or two. And the winner ... oh, the winner. Such fame will come upon them! Such fortune! Such rewards and riches! We can't even tell you. Cause we don't know yet.
Rules: it's got to be about something environmental. Energy, forests, pollution, conservation, you name it. I suppose you can joke about environmentalists themselves, but that's kind of cheating, since there are few species more mockable.
Now go to it!
Comments
View as Flat
brianfit Posted 1:34 pm
12 Oct 2005
Knock knock
There once was a Greeny rag, Grist
To prove eco-laughs really exist
Sought knock-knocks for kicks
But forgot limericks
Are funnier: Knock knock? You missed!
Why just surf, when you can make waves? Get active with Greenpeace: http://www.greenpeace.org/international/getinvolved
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Chris Schults Posted 2:05 am
13 Oct 2005
Knock knocks with a twist
Who would have thought something as simplistic as the knock knock joke would be so intimidating??? I'll give it a whirl ...
(Outside the offices of Michael Shellenberger and Ted Nordhaus)
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Environmentalism.
Environmentalism who? ... Hey wait a minute, you're suppose to be dead!
In your dreams.
(Outside home of James Inhofe)
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Global warming.
Ha. Global warming is one of the largest hoaxes ever played on the American people. Now go away!
(Outside the White House)
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Big oil.
Come on in!
(Outside of the closed-door meetings of Cheney's energy task force)
Knock knock.
Who's there?
People who care about the environment.
Security!
Anyone, feel free to revise and improve on any of the above.
Oh, and here is a shameless promotion for one of my recent posts ...
(Outside of Denny Crane's fishing cabin)
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The environment.
I came out here to enjoy nature. Don't talk to me about the environment.
Support Grist: http://www.grist.org/support
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Corey McKrill Posted 6:08 am
13 Oct 2005
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Global warming.
Global warming who?
Oh, not you too! This is unbelievable! Get a clue!
Sign up to get the Daily Grist by email, http://grist.org/signup/
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ckaiser Posted 6:45 am
13 Oct 2005
Knock knock
Knock-knock-who's-there
Plastic bag irony.
Plastic bag irony who?
I spent 10 months training myself to re-use plastic vegetable bags at the grocery store, then I sent my clothes out for drycleaning.
Cindi
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Hat Bird Posted 6:57 am
13 Oct 2005
Knock Knock
(Knock. Knock.)
Who's there?
(Orange.)
Orange who?
(Orange you green?)
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bookwoman Posted 1:27 pm
13 Oct 2005
Knock Knock submission
--Knock Knock.
--Who's there?
--Global Warming.
--Global Warming, who?
--Global WARMING!
--Global WARMING, WHO?
--GLOBAL WARMING!!
--GLOBAL WARMING, WHO????
--Oh, never mind...
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tjacorn Posted 12:56 am
14 Oct 2005
Knock Knock
Ok, this is about a cow. Therefore it's got to be environmentalist friendly.
--
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Interrupting Cow.
Interrupting Co -- MOO -- w Who?
(This is the most fun live)
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plantface Posted 4:29 am
14 Oct 2005
Death of ...
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Endangered Species
Endangered Species who?
[silence due to extinction of species between delivery of lines]
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plantface Posted 4:33 am
14 Oct 2005
HazWaste
Knock knock,
Who's there,
CERCLA
CERCLA who?
CERCLA date on the calendar when you're gonna clean up that hazardous waste site!
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Corey McKrill Posted 5:56 am
14 Oct 2005
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Environmentally conscious voter.
Environmentally conscious voter who?
Yeah, that's what I was wondering.
Sign up to get the Daily Grist by email, http://grist.org/signup/
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jimbeyer Posted 7:59 am
17 Oct 2005
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Dick Cheney.
Dick Cheney who?
Oh, go f*ck yourself!
Build plugin hybrids that run on renewable methane. That's all that's needed.
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momt5 Posted 12:30 pm
18 Oct 2005
knocking
knock knock...
who's there?
Andy!
Andy who?
Andy green grass grows all around and around, Andy green grass grows all around...
knock knock...
who's there?
Who!
Who who?
Who who...I hear an owl! Thank goodness it's here!
knock knock...
who's there?
Water!
Water who?
Water way to treat the waterways!
knock knock...
who's there?
Snow skating!
Snow skating who?
Snow skating...the ice is too thin 'cause the water's too warm!
Thanks, Grist for the info.
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Tumbleweed Posted 7:46 pm
18 Oct 2005
Knock Knock
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in we're organic!
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Sishongjerry Posted 2:13 am
20 Oct 2005
KNOCK KNOCK
who's there?
The earth.
The earth who?
Cocky kids, I've been here longer than you can imagine and I still will be long after your'e buried in me!
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Geoff Johnson Posted 6:49 am
23 Oct 2005
Knock knock
Who's there?
Big Gas.
Big Gas who?
Big Gas heating bill delivery.
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Geoff Johnson Posted 7:07 am
23 Oct 2005
Knock knock
Who's there?
Big Gas
Big Gas who?
Big Gas hole in your wallet this winter.
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plantface Posted 7:33 am
24 Oct 2005
these are all awful
knock knock!
who's there?
bio-diesel.
bio-diesel who?
bio-diesel from Willie Nelson, he needs the money!
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plantface Posted 7:35 am
24 Oct 2005
these are all awful
I guess that last line should have been:
"buy yo' diesel from Willie Nelson..."
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plantface Posted 2:27 am
27 Oct 2005
Achoo
knock, knock.
who's there?
bird flu.
bird flu who?
bird flew up my nose and now I'm sneezing feathers!
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plantface Posted 2:30 am
27 Oct 2005
forms
While we're digging into the Burgess Shale of humor, I'd suggest that crossing the road jokes, and lightbulb jokes might be as elemental as the knock knock and should be considered for the competition here.
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