You've heard of BioWillie, Willie Nelson's foray into the world of celebrity-branded biodiesel. But did you know that several other celebs, not to be outdone, have plans to unveil their own biofuel lines? During our series, Grist has been doused with requests from PR professionals to promote their clients' fuelish products. We're only too happy to oblige.
Celeb: Martha Stewart
Product: DIY Biofuel
The deal: Martha Stewart has partnered with IKEA to launch Biofuel-in-a-Box in spring 2007. The country's chief domestic engineer says it will be possible to make 10 gallons of biofuel by mixing the contents of the box with everyday items you already have in your home. A homemade batch of biofuels for $19.95? Now that's a hood thing.
Celeb: Al Gore
Product: Fill Up with the Truth
The deal: Flush with the success of his documentary An Inconvenient Truth, the former veep will unveil his own brand of biodiesel next fall. Gore will also embark on a state-to-state PowerPoint tour in a biodiesel-powered minibus in order to inspire a grassroots fuel frenzy.
From K-Fed to corn-fed?
Photo: WireImage.com
Celeb: Britney Spears
Product: Oil of O'Lay
The deal: Flush with the success of ditching K-Fed, the pop princess is now offering natural, homegrown oils to the public. Spears' product will soon be widely available, whether you want to see it or not.
Celeb: Pauly Shore
Product: E99
The deal: Not to be confused with E85, which is 85 percent ethanol, E99 ups the ante to 99 percent corn-based ethanol. Shore's product, recently slammed in Texas, is corny. Very, very, very corny.
Celeb: Hillary Clinton
Product: Hillary in 2008
The deal: Biofuels run cars, cars get people to the polls, people at the polls vote (most of the time), some of them vote Democrat. Ergo, biofuels make people vote Democratic. Every little bit helps, so Hillary's pumped.
Celeb: Jude Law
Product: Roll in the Hay
The deal: Law's product, marketed as a hay-based biofuel, is really just regular gasoline infused with an aphrodisiac. Or so we suspect. What else could explain the widespread infatuation he inexplicably inspires?
Celeb: Richard Pombo
Product: ES85
The deal: With spare time on his hands after this fall's election loss, the former California representative will continue to pursue his goals by making ES85: that's 15 percent gasoline, 85 percent endangered species.
Celeb: Madonna
Product: Pumpa Don't Preach
The deal: The pop queen recently struck a deal to import native grasses from Malawi for processing into European biofuels, but has faced sharp criticism for skirting trade rules. She has reportedly hired Angelina Jolie as a consultant for future transactions.
Emission accomplished.
Photo: whitehouse.gov
Celeb: George W. Bush
Product: BioDecider
The deal: BioDecider started out heavy on ethanol, but it was discovered that leakage from filling stations was corroding footwear. To save people's soles, Bush adjusted his recipe. Today, BioDecider-ready vehicles run on straight bullshit.
Celeb: Jessica Simpson
Product: Corn of the Sea
The deal: Simpson's short-lived product was quickly pulled from filling stations and K-Mart shelves when she began marketing it as a soft drink.
Want the real scoop on today's biofuels news? See the rest of Grist's special series.
Climate Citizen: Mary Stuart Masterson
Corn-based meat and ethanol: burning the planet to a crisp
Comments
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meander Posted 4:20 am
13 Dec 2006
Another potential bright spot might be a reduction in consumption of HFCS sweetened soft drinks, and thus reduction in the health effects of overconsumption. I haven't seen any data on the demand elasticity for chicken vs. cola, but would bet that Americans would sooner give up cola than chicken.
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Tom Philpott Posted 4:32 am
13 Dec 2006
And just to two things up, looks like the HFCS industry has succeeded in bullying Mexico into accepting US-made HFCS.
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Orfintain Posted 7:26 pm
14 Dec 2006
Sustainable AG is the Only Long Term Solution
As far chicken vs cola it takes alot of corn to make one chicken remember that bird in a box eats for two years or so to grow to full size. The energy footprint of an American meat eater to vegetarian to an is high, something like ten to one.
Also consider that meat production industry releases more C02 than the transportation industry. It isn't a carbon tax on meat yet, but it wouldn't be a bad idea. I'll take a smaller hormone and steroid added CO2 producing meat industry any way i can.
As far as the economical challenged population starving to death. We have to remember it isn't that some evil corporations intended on messing up the planet. The problem is that there are too many people and not enough space. It may be best interest in the human species to allow evaluation to take its course.
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