Congrats to Seattle P-I enviro reporters Robert McClure and Lisa Stiffler for unearthing the funniest story I've read in a good long while.
Here's the nut: The school board in Federal Way, a southern exurb of Seattle, just put a "moratorium" on showings of An Inconvenient Truth, based largely on the complaints of one parent, Frosty Hardison.
The glory is in the details. Right off the bat we get this:
"Condoms don't belong in school, and neither does Al Gore. He's not a schoolteacher," said Frosty Hardison, a parent of seven who also said that he believes the Earth is 14,000 years old. "The information that's being presented is a very cockeyed view of what the truth is. ... The Bible says that in the end times everything will burn up, but that perspective isn't in the DVD."
Bam! Holy crap that's awesome. "Condoms don't belong in school, and neither does Al Gore." By God I'm making a t-shirt.
OK, so, Gore left out the "End Times could render the whole issue moot" perspective. Clearly the film is one-sided! So school board member David Larson proposed the moratorium.
Why prevent the movie from being shown? To encourage free speech of course:
"Somebody could say you're killing free speech, and my retort to them would be we're encouraging free speech," said Larson, a lawyer. "The beauty of our society is we allow debate."
Zing! George Orwell, meet Barney Fife. Fife, Orwell.
So banning the movie will encourage free speech. But wait, let's not get hysterical. They didn't so much ban it as require that some opposing perspectives be provided alongside it. Take it away, school board president Ed Barney:
"What is purported in this movie is, 'This is what is happening. Period. That is fact,'" Barney said.
Students should hear the perspective of global-warming skeptics and then make up their minds, he said. After they do, "if they think driving around in cars is going to kill us all, that's fine, that's their choice."
Asked whether an alternative explanation for evolution should be presented by teachers, Barney said it would be appropriate to tell students that other beliefs exist. "It's only a theory," he said.
Hat trick!
McClure and Stiffler then quote the IPCC on the basic facts of climate change and dryly note:
The basics of that position are backed by the American Meteorological Society, the American Geophysical Union, the American Association for the Advancement of Science and the National Academy of Sciences.
But what they fail to note -- hello, one-sided reporting! -- is that those scientific organizations hate America. Take it away, Frosty's wife:
"From what I've seen (of the movie) and what my husband has expressed to me, if (the movie) is going to take the approach of 'bad America, bad America,' I don't think it should be shown at all," Gayle Hardison said. "If you're going to come in and just say America is creating the rotten ruin of the world, I don't think the video should be shown."
Oh lordy. Is it my birthday already?
For the record, "students contacted Wednesday said they favor allowing the movie to be shown."
I'm sure someone out there will object to this story as parading well-meaning, heartland-values-holding Americans before us for ridicule. But you know what? Screw that. America lives in terror of non-existent dirty hippies. Meanwhile, troglodytes are running the show from school boards all the way up to the presidency. They deserve a little time in the spotlight. It's long overdue.
Environmental education in Guinea Bissau
Home Economics of the JP Green House, Part 1
The Wind Kids: How high school students helped bring a wind farm to Milford, Utah
Comments
View as Flat
pbearden47 Posted 4:35 am
11 Jan 2007
Can I comment that I'm tired of people asking me if I "believe" in evolution or global warming,etc.? Science is not faith-based. It's evidence compiled and tested over time. It's theories tried. Statistics analyzed.
If we want our children to stay ignorant, let's encourage our school boards to cave in to people who think you should present scientific theories and proofs next to faith in old religious hokum. I say this as a Christian who believes God just shakes his (or her) head at people like this.
Aunt Phyllis
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Biodiversivist Posted 4:54 am
11 Jan 2007
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/soundoff/comment.asp?articl...
In the end, it all comes down to biodiversity. Poison Darts--Protecting the biodiversity of our world
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Corey McKrill Posted 6:13 am
11 Jan 2007
Environmental action earns Federal Way School District 'Green Schools' honor from King County, city
Grist's InterActivist ... creating a one-of-a-kind portrait of on-the-ground activism.
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Jon Posted 3:45 pm
11 Jan 2007
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caniscandida Posted 7:21 pm
11 Jan 2007
The remark by Mrs. Frosty, suggesting that any criticism of the policy of the US government amounts simply to a charge that the US is evil, and that all such criticism must be suppressed in public schools, is horrifying. Presumably, though, that is a right-wing trope?
One really needs to study the associations of these apparently linked terms: "dirty hippie," "America-hater," "liberal elite," "Al Gore," and so forth.
Chickens are our cousins!
So are other sensitive animals!
Enough is enough!
No more factory farms!
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Whiskerfish Posted 11:14 pm
11 Jan 2007
The difference between the US and any western European nation is that Frosty Knucklewalker and his ilk would be laughed at, gently patted on the head, and then given some strong medication in Europe. I can imagine that, pretty soon, the school's science lab is going to be named after him.
As we say around here, ag shame (*), you guys really do have a ways to go... at least it makes me feel a little better about our situation here in southern Africa. Thank goodness Mugabe doesn't have the US military at his disposal!
Cheers
Whiskerfish
* pronounced "(guttural)ach" shame - an expression of intense pity.
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spygirlmisty Posted 12:31 pm
12 Jan 2007
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bookerly Posted 8:09 pm
13 Jan 2007
President Bush announced today that a Mr. Frosty Hardison will be his new science advisor. Said the Prez, "This guy will really sock it to the liberal elites, he and Dick Cheney will invite them to go hunting, then Bam! POW! And hey, do you like that name Hardison, sounds manyly to me, and I know about manly, and Al Gore isn't manly, nor is Saddam, say did you see those pictures on the net of him? I have the original framed over my desk. Oh? I'm not supposed to say that? Well, let's welcome Mr. Frosty and all the little Frostys and hope they do some damage before they melt away. Where is my mommy?"
patrick (channeling the white house, umm, the one across the road from me)
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ken c Posted 2:25 am
17 Jan 2007
Oh, and why is the only alternative theory to global warming that of the hardcore Christian literalist? There are other theories, based on sound science showing that climate change is cyclical and that varying degrees of human influence are responsible for global warming.
This theory, like all scientific theories, needs time and even more research before it should be taught as the only theory...like plate tectonics for example.
Keep in mind it was only 20 or 30 years ago that the scientific community was convinced that we were going to have to deal with a global cooling crisis! Time has shown that theory to be false.
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willa Posted 4:02 am
17 Jan 2007
http://gristmill.grist.org/skeptics
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bookerly Posted 12:19 pm
18 Jan 2007
The real alternative to global warming should not be the idea that the globe is warming, but rather the idea that the globe is HEATING UP drastically, and that if we don't take DRASTIC measures, we're all doomed.
So, moderate measures or drastic measures, see, two alternatives!!
patrick
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ken c Posted 2:14 am
24 Jan 2007
History is a big source of my skepticism but more importantly, pick up any single article about climate change (not one of the literature reviews of multiple articles) and read it...I mean really read it. What I have always found, and what gives me great respect for the authors, is that while they're pretty sure that humans are causing global warming, they're not 100% sure and they say so. Any scientist worth his meager pay, and we're all under paid, knows that theory ain't fact and the way that society is building global warming up as fact scares me. Should we do something about it, heck yes. Should we revere the scienctific theories about it as fact, heck no. But that's what most people seem to be doing.
My skepticism comes from people putting faith in theory that is less than 30 years old. Put your faith in the theory of evolution, the theory or relativity, etc, but be skeptical about global warming. Live as if it was fact but question those facts.
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