Czange we can believe in

Salmon czar could coordinate better protection, rule over peasant salmon 1

packaged salmon.

Because nothing signals a democracy on the mend like a profusion of czars, salmon defenders are now calling for a federal salmon czar.

According to Wikipedia my deep and nuanced understanding of Russian history, we can expect a salmon czar to quickly go drunk with power, lord over peasant salmon, and assassinate political rivals in fits of paranoid rage.

Or, you know, coordinate various government bureaucracies and administrate a sensible management plan.

“It would be better to have one Washington, D.C. office with real power to deal with salmon issues,  instead of the highly dispersed and dysfunctional mish-mash that now governs,”  writes the Daily Astorian editorial board.

But, really, can’t they find more democratic titles for these new positions?

Jonathan Hiskes is a Grist staff writer. He reports, tweets, eats, asks questions, self-promotes, looks out windows, and wonders if it could be like this.

Related Stories

Advertisement
Advertisement
  1. Matt P's avatar

    Matt P Posted 9:26 pm
    22 Mar 2009

    I think the lineup of federal Czars would be made considerably more entertaining by the additional, required appointment of corresponding federal "Rasputins".  What we need are a corps of psychotic, murderous, undeservedly powerful, indestructible, hyper-religious charlatans with the ability to convince the powerful of great falsehoods, the tendency to become obsessed with the purely irrelevant,  who cannot be arrested, reasoned with or otherwise derailed, who advocate for inaction and insularity in the face of coming doom and have largely pre-Copernican world view.  Oh wait ...

    Permalink

Add a Comment

You are not logged in. Thus, you cannot post a comment. If you have an account, log in. If you don't have an account, well, by all means go make one! Meet you back here in five.

Hello, Visitor!    Why not register?

Viewed
More
Commented
More
Advertisement