On moving to Canada | By Umbra Fisk | Grist | Ask Umbra

On moving to Canada

03 Mar 2005

Got questions about the environment? Ask Umbra.

Dear Umbra,

Did you really move to Canada? Did you get resident status? How hard was it to do?

Valerie
Middleburg, Va.

Ask Umbra continues below

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Dearest Valerie,

I haven't actually moved to Canada. I was being dramatic (lying) and I apologize to all who were duped by my ruse. I was also deeply touched by the hearty if unnecessary welcome from all of my Canuck readers. I love you all, and I love curling -- I love everything aboot Canada. Mwah.

O Canada!

I assume your interest in moving to Canada is motivated by frustration at the current environmental situation here in the U.S. I believe such flee-the-nation fantasies require some sober evaluation, but first let me answer your question. The Citizenship and Immigration Canada website is very helpful on the issue of how to immigrate to Canada, save for answering the important questions: How long does it take, when can I vote, and why can't I speak to a live person? The live person I eventually tracked down at Immigration Canada, Marie, said that if everything goes smoothly, the average visa process takes about 10 to 12 months -- but in some cases it can take up to two years. In order to vote, however, you must be a permanent resident for three years and then go through a year-long citizenship process. So, we're looking at about six years before you can be a fully participating member of society.

Immigrating doesn't seem overly hard, but of course each case is evaluated individually. There are innumerable forms to fill out, and you must come into the country with enough money to live for at least six months. You can't be terribly diseased or depraved, and your car has to meet Canuck seat-belt guidelines. Potential immigrants are divided into several categories, ranging from "skilled workers" to "refugees." There is a test with which you can gauge whether or not you belong in the former category. I passed by lying about my French proficiency. Vraiment, je peux parle le Francais comme je peux jouer petanque.

Now, for the sober evaluation. First, if your fantasy is motivated by Canada's pristine environment, think again. It's true that there is no shortage of natural beauty there, but there is also no shortage of resource extraction. Canada is the world's third-largest natural-gas producer and has steadily increased its oil extraction, by about 60 percent in the past 20 years. As of 2001 (the last year for which I could turn up data), per capita energy consumption was actually higher than in the United States, although the per capita carbon emissions were lower.

And there's more mediocre news from up north. I made contact with Matt (so friendly, the Canadians), the founder of Conservation Voters of British Columbia, and he said that Canada has very few environmental protections compared to the U.S. and mainly relies on voluntary "guidelines" for industry. That does not sound refreshing to me. Also, there is increasing concern about clean air, and no Clean Air Act. That sounds worse. I'll just quote Matt directly: "We just haven't got around to screwing things up as badly as the U.S. has, since there's so many fewer Canadians right now doing the damage."

Although I did not pay Matt to make that comment, it supports my long-held stance that we need to stay where we are. Canada doesn't need any more Canadians. Canada needs what the U.S. needs, and what, in fact, the world needs: more environmentalists in the U.S.

Patriotically,
Umbra

Yours is to wonder why, hers is to answer (or try). Please send Umbra any nagging question pertaining to the environment -- but first check out her FAQs!

The claims made in this column may not reflect the views of this magazine. Neither the magazine nor the author guarantees that any advice contained in this column is wise or safe. Please use this column at your own risk.

Umbra Fisk is Grist Research Associate II, Hardcover and Periodicals Unit, floors 2B-4B.

Comments: (3 comments)

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The grass isn't greener up here

As someone who emigrated to Canada two years ago (for love, not politics), I have to agree with Umbra's sources. In some ways, Canada is way behind the US as far as environmental protection goes, although it is more progressive in other ways. And with regard to high-profile differences in environmental policy between Canada and the US, such as the two countries' stance on the Kyoto Protocol, it's one thing to make promises and another to keep them...we'll see if Canada actually manages to comply with that particular accord.

Living in Canada's no cup of Red Rose either...my income taxes doubled when I moved here, and while it's true that I have the right to free health care it is in fact quite hard to actually get any health care here. I always though the tales of the Canadian healthcare system's woes were dreamed up by Republicans, but in fact they're true. Here in Montreal, none of the family doctors have been accepting new patients for at least five years. If you get sick, you have to go to the emergency room (at least a six hour wait unless your life is in immediate danger) or a clinic. My girlfriend had to wait three months just to get an x-ray.

There's a lot to love about Canada, and I'm happy to be here, but if you should think carefully and do a lot of research before moving here...in the end it's a real place with real problems like any other country, and I agree with Umbra's "stay and fight" mentality...you can do a lot more to improve the environment in the US by staying, and voting.

by bhurley at 1:37 PM on 03 Mar 2005

Not Yet Begun to Flight

Speaking of sobering evaluations, one of the best reasons to stay in Steve Earle's mother****ing USA is the low beer prices. At least down here we poorly attired greenies can afford to drown our sorrows. (Guess where the wardrobe budget goes.) The Mackenzie Brothers must have been millionaires.

by scooter at 4:35 PM on 03 Mar 2005

Canada cares

The radio says: "Join the Army and Protect the American Way of Life".
What is it that is unique to the American way? Is it the love and dedication to family- NOT. Our families tend to be separated by many miles, and we see each other infrequently- our children are often raised by television while both parents are off at work. Why? Because we are pursuing the material wealth that really drives the american way of life- the biggest truck, the fastest (looking) car, the nicest house. These things require us to be away from home more than any other society- we may be the least dedicated to 'family values'. Do we take care of our parents and our grandparents? Do we even know where they are?

It is our pursuit of material gains, our 'mass-consumption at whatever cost' theology that drives us to work more than 40 hours/week, to sacrifice time with our family. Our 'heros' are television and movie stars, and athletes. This is our greatest goal, to be like them (fabulously wealthy and popular). We care not for civil rights leaders or people who sacrificed something for the good of others- those people were 'fools'.

Is it our dedication to religion? Hardly. We go to church on sunday but on monday we behave no differently on the highways and sidewalks than we did on friday. We push because we are athletes, we ignore hardships and injustice because we are movie stars- it is not our problem. And is it not sex that sells everything? Is it not what makes our favorite shows so good? It drives our economy, it motivates our efforts, in spite of our declaration of sexual repression. We profess to hate sin, but we can't look away.

The truck says " America is blessed by God- if you don't love it, leave it".
The American way of life is not so pretty. What makes us unique is our obsession with material gain, with mass consumption, and our lack of a conscience. We have no guilt- America can do no wrong. We are blessed, and everything we do is the result of God's will, whether it is killing innocents across the ocean or raping the forest in starving Africa. It is our right and our destiny to rule the world. This is why we need a strong military, why you should join the Army, to protect the American Way of Life.

So why do we want to move to Canada? Not because they have better environmental laws or more personal freedoms. Because the majority of people there still have a conscience- they still care about the forests, the animals, the poor and the downtrodden. A majority of Americans, for whatever reason, have abandoned their conscience, have no guilt, and shamelessly tout the ME agenda. Canada is much like the U.S. was 30 years ago- before we lost our way.

Do we hate America? No, we are ashamed at what America is becoming.

a liberal in redsville

by birdboy at 7:16 PM on 09 Mar 2005

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